


everybody told me it was bad to do

by queerofcups



Series: love love love (love love) [11]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Infidelity, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-09-23 15:30:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9663626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerofcups/pseuds/queerofcups
Summary: They’ve been doing this for years. Phil’s been doing this to him for years.





	1. Chapter 1

“We have to stop,” Phil mutters against Dan’s mouth. “We have to stop. We have to--”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dan whispers, scrabbling at Phil’s shirt. His own shirt was pushed up to his collar, his chest and sides littered with dark mouth shaped marks. Phil tugs at the buckle of his belt. Dan shoves his pants down. It’s easier.

Phil’s boyfriend is downstairs, waiting on them to finish filming for the gaming channel. Dan had been the one to let him in.

“We can’t keep doing this,” Phil says, like he says every time. “This is wrong. It’ll hurt him.”

“Yeah. We’ll stop. No more after this,” Dan agrees, watching Phil get to his knees. Like he says every time.

He’d settled in the lounge when Dan left. He was listening to music. They’re up against the office door, a floor above him. He probably can’t hear them, Dan reasons, is used to them bumping around and making weird noises during filming.

Dan has to bite his knuckles when Phil gets his mouth on him. Dan’s been thrumming with this since he’d opened the door to let him in. They keep doing this while he’s in the apartment and Dan’s developed a pavlovian response. Phil finds a reason to find Dan, touches him in the office or in one of their bedrooms. Once, Phil had crowded Dan into a corner of the kitchen, sucked and bitten a line of marks down Dan’s neck while his boyfriend was in the lounge. Dan had left bruises on Phil’s back, clutching him instead of making a sound.

Dan should tell him to stop. Dan should send Phil to his boyfriend and remind Phil that they’re just friends. He should remind him that it’s Phil that insists they can’t be together. It’s Phil who brings men to their apartment, tells Dan that they won’t keep doing this because Phil’s going to be faithful this time.

Dan digs his fingers into Phil’s hair and tilts his head back against the door. He groans, low in his throat and Phil gently pinches his hip in warming.

Then, they’re silent but for the wet noises Phil makes. Dan squeezes his eyes shut, bites his fingers harder. He tries to listen for the sound of footsteps, finds he doesn’t care.

They’ve been doing this for years. Phil’s been doing this to him for years.

Dan rolls his hips. Phil’s mouth is warm (like it always is), and he strokes Dan’s hip bones, trails his fingers along Dan’s lower back. Dan likes this better than when Phil only uses his hands, or when Phil fucks him. At least this way, he can’t talk, can’t whisper apologies in Dan’s ear and can’t promise to never do this again. Dan can never tell if he’s promising not to hurt Dan again, or the men he brings home. He’s lying either way.

It doesn’t take much to get Dan nearly there. He’d been hard by the time he’d gotten upstairs from letting Phil’s boyfriend in. He knew it was coming. Phil had looked him over when he’d closed the office door behind him. He’s eager now, works to get Dan as deep in his mouth as he can.

Dan comes with a cut off gasp, bangs his head against the door once. He’s pretty sure he heard a noise from downstairs. He doesn’t know if he’s dreading or hoping for footsteps. Phil groans and swallows around him.

When he’s done, Phil stands, presses a kiss to his mouth, dances away when Dan reaches for him. Dan pulls his clothes to rights.

“That was the last time,” Phil says firmly. “We can’t do it anymore. It would kill him.”

He’s lying. He’s lying. Dan knows he’s lying.

Dan smiles and nods. “Yeah. You’re right. Have a good date, ok?”

Phil smiles at him gratefully and heads downstairs, still smelling of Dan. Dan looks at the teeth marks on his hand, wonders if he could get Phil to fuck him in his bed, with his boyfriend on the other side of the wall.

He’d stopped hoping for the day Phil chooses him a long time ago.

Phil’s been promising Dan that the next boyfriend is the last one for years. Dan watched the parade of men, jealousy turning into smugness, satisfied in the knowledge that Phil would keep choosing him, no matter how many men passed through.

He smooths his clothes one last time and leaves the office. Maybe he can say bye before they leave.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i did a timestamp meme and someone prompted what happens when Dan leaves the office immediately after the end

Dan takes the stairs two at a time. He hits the last one just as they’re heading toward the door, Phil shrugging on his jacket. Phil’s boyfriend turns to look at him, grinning.

“Dan!” he says, walking over to him with open arms. Dan takes the hug happily, glancing at Phil from over his shoulder.

Phil watches them carefully. Dan would like to imagine that he reeks of Phil, that the love bites on his hips are visible from space.

This is the other game they play.

Phil’s boyfriends love Dan.  They never trust him when they first start coming (and why should they?), but Dan turns on the charm he’s developed from years of meet and greets, and they always leave loving him.

And they always leave.

They learn to love Dan and they learn to watch the spaces Dan neglects to keep between him and Phil. They love Dan, and they watch the proprietary way he touches Phil. They come to love Dan and slowly, they figure out that they ought to hate him.

Dan lets go and steps back, grinning at Phil and giving Phil’s boyfriend a gentle shove toward the door.

“Just wanted to say hello,” he says brightly, “You should come over this weekend and hang out before Phil sweeps you away again. It’s been ages since we chatted properly.”

This one has a twinkly laugh. They usually do. They’re usually well-muscled but shorter than Phil, with sharp features and light hair. They usually look nothing like Dan.

(The one and only time Phil had brought home a tall, dark haired man with hair that curled into soft waves Dan made a point to fuck Phil before every single date he went on. Dan thinks of this as sharing, but he doesn’t always share well)

“Of course,” Phil’s boyfriend says, throwing him one last smile before he makes his way back to the door. Something sour and sharp spreads in Dan’s stomach as he watches them leave, their fingers intertwining as they walk out.

Dan turns, walking down the hall toward Phil’s bedroom. It’s risky, there’s no guarantee Phil won’t have company when he comes back to his room tonight. But sometimes, when he finds Dan here, he’ll lay down with Dan, tangle their legs together and just go to sleep without a single promise passing his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> i have 0 excuses for this. you're welcome.  
> this is fake.  
> title/inspiration from years & years "i want to love"  
> you can find me at queerofcups.tumblr.com


End file.
